she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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