the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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