he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
