He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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