so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
