you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
