i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
