the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
