genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
