Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
