we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
