You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
