sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
