I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
