Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
