My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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