I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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