i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I want a musical about memes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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