trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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