butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
