Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
