You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
