My nipple is on Facebook.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
