That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
