Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
