I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
