the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
