So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I will die if light touches me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
