ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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