and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
do herpes really smell.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
