happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
