make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
