dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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