shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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