man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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