So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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