she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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