If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
