great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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