She announced her abortion via fbk
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
