matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
