you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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