Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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