possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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