Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
