fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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