Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
