he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
