Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I pour the whiskey from now on
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
