Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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