Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
