cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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