I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
